BUFFALO, N.Y.—Two women having lunch at local favorite Rex Diner were kicked out after the restaurant manager felt their conversation was inappropriate for a family establishment. They say it was all a misunderstanding.
The manager, Victor Patel, says that the women were talking loudly about how “big and thick” something they had that morning was and also how that something “felt amazing.” He asked them to keep their voices down or change the subject because children were dining nearby. But they refused to do either, so he had a security guard escort them out. He claims that on their way out they disparaged the size of his penis.
The women, who prefer to go only by the initials of their first names, B. and M., say that their conversation was about something far more personal, though also much less obscene, than a man’s sexual organs: they were talking about their own stools. B. says that she and M. had recently taken their shared doctor’s advice and made some diet and lifestyle changes, which had made them especially productive—and thus exuberant—the day they got kicked out of the restaurant.
“We couldn’t believe how incredibly thick and long our shit was,” M. says. “Frankly,” B. adds, “they were larger than any men we’ve ever had.” Both insist that anyone who has ever experienced a fantastic bowel movement would have instantly related and been as delighted as they were. “It’s more than just satisfying,” M. says, “it’s goddamn invigorating.” B., however, admits that when they got kicked out, they were pretty angry. “Yeah,” she says, “we didn’t feel like we’d done anything wrong. But when we were yelling at the manager, it had nothing to do with penis size when we said he would feel better if he had a big one.”
