BROKEN NEWS UPDATE: TESLA TO BE RENAMED AS PLATO, SELL ONLY GAS-POWERED VEHICLES

BROKEN NEWS UPDATE: TESLA TO BE RENAMED AS PLATO, SELL ONLY GAS-POWERED VEHICLES

PALO ALTO, Calif.—In the wake of the broken news involving its Model 3, Tesla announced it is renaming itself as Plato, after the Greek philosopher, and becoming strictly a gas-powered carmaker. In a tweet a week ago, the company admitted that the Model 3 is not an EV but instead a conventional vehicle with the greatest internal combustion engine of all time. In a follow-up Twitter post, CEO Elon Musk said that making a gasoline engine as quiet and as powerful as an electric motor is actually a much bigger achievement than producing an electric motor.

Several industry insiders, including execs from all the major automakers, hypothesized that the corporate name change is likely a veiled acknowledgement that, despite all his bluster and hype, Musk simply couldn’t find a way to profitably build an affordable EV for the masses. Edward Kim, a senior car magazine editor, said the newly renamed Plato’s focus on the Model 3, now known to be powered by plain old 87 octane, is evidence supporting this theory because many believe that it may be the only truly profitable vehicle in the company’s lineup. He noted that Plato the philosopher is often credited with the saying, “necessity is the mother of invention.” He said wryly that for Plato the car company and Musk the entrepreneur, “profitability is the mother of reinvention.”

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