BRUNCH SUES BREAKFAST AND LUNCH, ALLEGES IT HASN’T BEEN PROMOTED TO REGULAR MEAL DUE TO DISCRIMINATION

BRUNCH SUES BREAKFAST AND LUNCH, ALLEGES IT HASN’T BEEN PROMOTED TO REGULAR MEAL DUE TO DISCRIMINATION

LOS ANGELES—Brunch filed a lawsuit in U.S. and British courts Wednesday, claiming that it has yet to be taken seriously as a regular meal because of discrimination by Breakfast and Lunch.

Thought to have been born either in the late 19th century, when British writer Guy Beringer coined the term, or in the early 20th century, when U.S. writer Frank Ward O’Malley observed that mid-day meals were routine among news reporters, Brunch is very young compared with its siblings Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. (The latter was not named in the lawsuit.) And although very happy to have become a popular choice for special occasions and on the weekends for many people, Brunch believes that it deserves to be a regular meal, with a daily place at the table.

At a press conference, hosted mid-morning at a snazzy hotel-restaurant offering unlimited champagne along with a wonderful spread that included everything from scones and eggs to hangar steak and a Pacific snapper, Brunch darkened when asked if it was a cure for hangovers but then glowed when told that it had millions of followers in China and elsewhere who regularly enjoyed dim sum after Breakfast but before Lunch. Brunch’s sometime pal Linner (also known as Dunch) made an appearance as the presser was wrapping up, just after 2 p.m., lending support and praising the steak and snapper as personal favorites.

An attorney for Brunch said that Breakfast and Lunch have both repeatedly called Brunch an alcoholic, overly social, bastard meal. It is that last part, the word “bastard,” she said, that hurts her client the most and ultimately brought the lawsuit on the grounds of discrimination. Brunch, she explained, is simply a portmanteau of Breakfast and Lunch, and like many combinations in nature offers the best of both worlds. She declared that Brunch merits the same respect and observed that Breakfast and Lunch unfairly have far more references in language, literature, and art, such as the films “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and “The Breakfast Club,” the phrases “lunch and learn” and “power lunch,” and the Kurt Vonnegut novel, “Breakfast of Champions.”

When asked for comment, a representative for the two defendants said they were both out to lunch.

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