TOO MANY PLACES EVERYWHERE—Upset that far too many people are dying unnecessarily, the wind threw caution back to a group of conspiracy theorists decrying vaccines and masks at a rally, possibly even one in your hometown. Early follow-up reports suggest that a few theorists caught the wind’s drift but that, unfortunately, most attempted to throw caution back to it.
The unvaccinated, unmasked protesters were holding signs questioning the motives of Anthony Fauci, Bill Gates, and others, and screaming that vaccines and masks are simply the beginning of a government plan to make society “sheeple.” A bystander (or maybe even you) said that out of nowhere a gust of wind hit the group square in their faces, ripping signs from the hands of many of the protesters, and ultimately sending them running like the wind from the area.
A spokesperson for the weather element said that the blustery outburst was a sign that the normally light and breezy wind has had enough of all the people who have thrown caution to it with downright irrational and conspiratorial beliefs preventing themselves and others from getting vaccinated or staying masked. In the currently highly charged political climate, she said the wind was tired of all the dark clouds of misinformation that conspiracy theorists have broken wind over the vaccines, whose benefits far outweigh the risks for almost everyone.
“These protesters were pissing in the wind,” the spokesperson said. “And the wind doesn’t like that. So, whenever we get wind of these types of rallies, we’re going to take the wind out of their sails—or, in this case, signs.” She said that the wind is all for people asking intelligent questions about vaccine-related and other risks but that the conspiracy theories floating in the wind these days are full of hot air. She noted that precipitation in the form of more deaths, especially in the anti-vax/anti-mask community, is likely to continue to rain down for at least several more months before, hopefully, the pandemic blows over.
