TOO MANY PLACES EVERYWHERE—Upset that far too many people are dying unnecessarily, the wind threw caution back to a group of conspiracy theorists decrying vaccines and masks at a rally,…
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LOS ANGELES—After being given the impossible task of revising the ubiquitous placeholder text that begins with “lorem ipsum,” which is used solely for mockups, a senior writer/editor in the marketing…
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LONDON—Just in the St. Nick of time, literary scholars and medical researchers from Oxford, Cambridge, and other top British universities released their findings on how several of the characters in…
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NEW YORK—The candy walker, once considered a sugary flop, is in high demand this holiday season, with stores around the country reporting that it is more than making up for…
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LOS ANGELES—Complaining she’s been bored lying around like the Wicked Witch of the East, legendary actress Judy Garland has agreed to reprise her iconic role as Dorothy Gale in a…
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LONDON—Legendary guitarist Eric Clapton, already in the news for winning his lawsuit against a German widow who unwittingly listed a bootleg CD of one of his concerts for around $11…
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ORLANDO, Fla.—The federal government believes that the Olive Garden restaurant chain is a front for the mob and says that it has never-ending evidence to prove it. After a decade-long…
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ATLANTA—After an untimely passing three years ago that left his fans, friends, and family shocked and deeply saddened, Anthony Bourdain visits the afterworld in a special two-hour episode of his…
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PARIS—The saying “revenge is a dish best served cold” was confirmed by chefs from the legendary Le Cordon Bleu culinary school in Paris, France, who performed blind taste tests of…
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LOS ANGELES—The head of a major film studio was fired after her bosses found out that she had given the go-ahead to start production on a sequel to a prequel.…
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