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TOP SCIENTIST: EMPLOYMENT IS A SIDE EFFECT OF THE COVID VACCINE, AND IT REALLY SUCKS
REAL-LIFE COBRA KAI OR JUST MARTIAL ARTS SNAKE OIL? KARATE INSTRUCTOR SAYS HIS STYLE IS SO DEADLY HE ALMOST KILLED HIMSELF
HEART OF GOLD: JOE ROGAN OFFERS TO DO COVERS OF NEIL YOUNG AND JONI MITCHELL SONGS FOR SPOTIFY, SAYS WILL ALSO REPLACE ANY AND ALL DEPARTING PODCAST HOSTS
BROKEN NEWS: JOHN STOCKTON DROPS DEAD ON PITCH, ON FIELD, AND ON COURT IMMEDIATELY AFTER CONSENTING TO BE VACCINATED (AND GETS ASSIST IN PROVING THAT THIS HIGHLY RECORDED BROKEN NEWS REPORT CANNOT BE CONFIRMED BUT, HEY, WHO CARES ABOUT SCIENCE AND FACTS, JOHN)
FOX NEWS/CNN SURVEY: ANTI-VAXXERS RANK FICTIONAL DISEASES THAT WOULD MAKE THEM ROLL UP SLEEVES TO GET VACCINATED

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MOVIE STUDIO BOSS FIRED AFTER GREEN-LIGHTING A SEQUEL TO A PREQUEL - The Rapscallion on “MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL” TO BE REMADE WITH ENTIRE ORIGINAL CAST RETURNING
BROKEN NEWS: ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN SUES YETI FOR $1 BILLION, CLAIMS TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT AND COMPLAINS OF CULTURAL APPROPRIATION – Tomorrow's 2060 on BROKEN NEWS: ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN SUES YETI FOR $1 BILLION, CLAIMS TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT AND COMPLAINS OF CULTURAL APPROPRIATION
BROKEN NEWS UPDATE: TESLA TO BE RENAMED AS PLATO, SELL ONLY GAS-POWERED VEHICLES - The Rapscallion on BROKEN NEWS UPDATE: TESLA ADMITS MODEL 3 RUNS ON GAS
Don Winham, Poet on BROKEN NEWS UPDATE: AMAZON SHOPPERS WILL BE “REDIRECTED” TO NEW SEARS SITE ON BLACK FRIDAY

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